Hi ma,

I'm writing this cause, well, only way I can speak to you now.

I miss you. And I can't get over the fact that I didn't say goodbye. I debated over doing so for so long, so many times I would come in to your room thinking I had finally built up the courage to do so only to find out that I hadn't and then I'd leave. A part of me didn't say good bye cause I felt like I was giving up on you when you weren't giving up.

I've been sleeping in your room now, I don't know why but I feel like maybe someday I'll get up and you'll be there.

I wish I had talked to you properly, I wanted to say so much. You meant everything to me, so much so that I feel totally lost now. I want to ask for your help but I can't. You were probably the only person who could tell me how to get over your death. I don't know how to. There are days where I completely forget that you're not here anymore, life just seems "normal" but then things happen and it hits me hard.

I miss you ma, I want to have one more chance to talk to you. Just one :(